The Rut Perscription

In my short experience I've realized that repetition often precedes rut. I ultimately get to the point where I'm doing a lot, but not really feeling like it's accomplishing much.

People with glasses will probably understand this metaphor...I compare it to when I'm sitting in the chair at the eyedoctor's office and am finally looking through the correct perscription. It's a moment of clarity where only then do you realize that you haven't been seeing as clearly as you could have previously.

Change is gradual. It's like the story of the boiling frog. If you put it in cold water and slowly bring it to a boil it won't recognize the difference and will cook.

I started this academic year with an excitement that has gradually been drained by school, music, etc. Each day's time gets filled with one thing or another and we soon get into a schedule. We all enjoy structure, so a schedule is really comfortable. It's like a nice warm bath...I'm just trying to figure out how to not get cooked.

What happens when my vision goes bad is that I only see the few steps ahead of me (or I only really see me) rather than the whole path ahead. Focus turns from God and others to myself. C.S. Lewis said in The Screwtape Letters that it is silly for a human being to ever claim ownership over anything, including time.

"They will find out in the end, never fear, to whom their time, their souls, and their bodies really belong - certainly not to them, whatever happens."

So to me there is a difference of mindset that comes when I decide how to use God's time instead of seeing it as my own. Because God's vision of productivity is drastically different than ours.